Fire Island News

Tossed Overboard - One Ocean View Cancel
By P.J.S. Dougherty
Tuesday, August 15th, 2006

On Monday night, I plopped down on the couch at 9:59, flipped on the TV and switched the channel to ABC to watch the next installment of One Ocean View, the Fire Island reality TV show. I must admit, after One Ocean View’s spicy episode 2, I was kind of excited to see what happened next. In episode 2, Usman got lucky, Zack got courage, KJ played it smooth with the ladies, and Heather the myspace Playboy bunny arrived. With those plot developments, it seemed the show could only get better.

But what came on at 10 pm instead of One Ocean View? Supernanny. Not even a new Supernanny, but a repeat of Supernanny. My heart dropped. No. Could it be? I flipped around the channels in denial, refusing to believe the obvious. No sign of One Ocean View. Finally, I Googled One Ocean View and discovered the horrifying news: after only two episodes, One Ocean View had been cancelled. Of course, the ABC website did not use such harsh terms, softening the crushing blow by saying “The next episode has not yet been scheduled” Don’t tease us, ABC. Make it a clean break. Give it to us straight.

The first episode of One Ocean View scored a 1.5/4 rating in the 18 to 49 age demographic. A 1.5/4 is bad to the point of being embarrassing. The second episode of One Ocean View did even worse, scoring a 1.2/3. How bad is a 1.2/3? Bad enough that ABC figured a re-run of Supernanny would do better; bad enough to toss One Ocean View overboard and go full speed ahead. What of the remaining four shows? Shelved, indefinitely.

We’re not the kind to say this, but . . . we told you so. You heard it here on fireisland.com first: One Ocean View lacked the elements of reality TV success; One Ocean View was an executive mistake; and the controversy that swirled around this ill-fated show turned out to be much ado about nothing. Fire Island locals’ fears of swarming tourists are now allayed. Fire Island can now return to its reputation as being an isolated haven where rainbow flags fly—a reputation locals will gladly embrace if it means they can retain their privacy.

One Ocean View was awful. At the same time, it was bordering on “so-bad-it’s-good” status. While Ocean Beach residents celebrate and ABC executives pour themselves stiff drinks, I find myself saddened that One Ocean View is cancelled. In addition, I feel genuinely sorry for the Reality TV star wannabes that comprised the One Ocean View cast. For camera-hogging attention hustlers like these, the unfulfilled promise of reality TV celebrity must be crushing.

I regret that I won’t get to see where One Ocean View went next; after all, there is something strangely thrilling about seeing places you’ve been through the lens of a TV camera. I regret that I won’t get to see Lauren get her karmic come-uppance after being such a self-centered, manipulative and unsavory bitch. Most of all, I regret that I won’t get to see the scenario that surely would’ve been the season’s climax for me: Miki and Radha, the sexy twin sisters, getting drunk on Long Island Iced Teas and making out in the hot tub. Sigh. Oh well – we can always hope for an uncensored One Ocean View DVD release.

Goodnight Usman, Zack, Mary and John. See you in my dreams, Miki and Radha. Lauren, don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out. KJ, keep it smooth, my man, you were the coolest. Heather, see you on myspace. Lisa, see you on a stripper pole somewhere. Anelka, it was nice meeting you – briefly. Farewell, to all the cast and crew of One Ocean View . . . we hardly knew ye.

Send a letter to the editor